Al-Hikmah: Jurnal Agama dan Ilmu Pengetahuan
Vol. 16 No. 2, Oktober 2019

P-ISSN 1412-5382
E-ISSN 2598-2168

OVERCOMING SPOILED CHILDREN WITH NATURAL APPROACHMENT
MENGATASI SIFAT ANAK MANJA DENGAN PENDEKATAN ALAMIAH
Daviq Chairilsyah
Teacher Education of Early Childhood Education Study Program, Universitas Riau, Pekanbaru 28293, Indonesia.
email: daviqch@yahoo.com

ABSTRACT
Spoiled is the attitudes and actions of children obtained from the environment such as family environment,
community environment, and school environment. These things can affect children to not to have selfreliance to learn and to do things optimally. In overcoming the children indulgence, parents should know the
factors that cause it. Several factors cause children to be spoiled can come from the family, community and
school. Through this literature review, the author tries to propose some good and planned strategies that can
be carried out by the teacher and parents. Parents and teachers can do various activities so that children are
stimulated to do their activities. Teachers can also approach directly and work closely with children's parents
in creating children's independence programs. Tips for parents to deal with spoiled children are consistent
with parents mean what they say as it builds credibly, provide explanations that are easy for children to
understand about independence in everyday life, show and explain good and bad behaviour in children.
Besides, parents must consistently give punishment and praise to children if they succeed or violate the rules
regarding self-reliance, and involve children in various social activities so that children can learn to share,
communicate and control his ego.
Keywords: Children, Spoiled, Self-Reliance.
ABSTRAK
Manja adalah sikap dan perbuatan anak yang diperoleh dari peran lingkungan baik lingkungan keluarga,
lingkungan masyarakat, dan lingkungan sekolah yang akan mengakibatkan anak tidak punya kemandirian
untuk belajar dan untuk melakukan sesuatu secara optimal. Dalam mengatasi kemanjaan anak sebaiknya
orang tua mengetahui faktor penyebab kemanjaan anak tersebut. Ada beberapa faktor penyebab anak
menjadi manja bisa berasal dari lingkungan keluarga, masyarakat, dan sekolah. Melalui kajian literatur ini
penulis mencoba mengajukan beberapa strategi yang baik dan terencana yang dapat dilakukan oleh guru
dan orangtua. Orangtua dan guru dapat melakukan berbagai kegiatan supaya anak terangsang untuk
melakukan kegiatan sendiri. Guru juga dapat melakukan pendekatan secara langsung dan bekerjasama
dengan orangtua anak dalam membuat program kemandirian anak. Tips bagi orangtua untuk mengatasi
anak yang manja adalah konsisten dengan apa yang orangtua katakan, memberikan penjelasan yang mudah
dimengerti anak mengenai kemandirian dalam keseharian, menunjukkan dan menjelaskan perilaku yang
baik dan buruk pada anak. Selain itu juga orang tua harus konsisten memberikan hukuman dan pujian bagi
anak apabila berhasil atau melanggar aturan mengenai kemandirian, dan libatkan anak dalam berbagai
kegiatan sosial agar anak dapat belajar untuk berbagi, berkomunikasi, serta mengontrol egonya.
Kata kunci: Anak, Manja, Kemandirian.
First Received:
26 September 2019

Revised:
04 October 2019

Accepted:
05 October 2019

Published:
07 October 2019

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Vol. 16 No. 2, Oktober 2019

INTRODUCTION
Spoiled is the attitudes and actions of
children obtained from the environment such
as the family environment, community
environment, and school environment
(Muslich, 2011). It will result in children not
having self-reliance to learn and to do
something independently. Thus, the children
will always depend on others to do something
for future development and cannot achieve
more optimal results (Koesoema, 2010).
Motivation and the role of the
environment greatly influence the children
development in carrying out something that
does not deviate from the rules of the children
like themselves. The role of the family is the
main role which is very important so that the
children do not act spoiled, then the other role
of the community environment and
strengthened by the role of teachers in schools
to anticipate the emergence of childhood
(Umari et al, 2018).
Preschool age is the right time to train the
children self-reliance. By entering this period,
the children can catch the parents' wishes and
the children self-reliance will gradually form
after socializing with their friends at school
(Hasan, 2012). The level of self-reliance of
the children is usually influenced by several
factors including attitudes of parents, the
environment, parental demands, habits at
home, activities outside and inside the house,
and the role of family members (Hasan,
2012). Fadillah et.al (2014) adds that the
above factors influence the formation of
children personality and emotions. One form
of parental attitudes as one of the factors that
influence the level of self-reliance of children
that we often see in the current era is the
number of mothers who work to meet the

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socio-economic needs of the family or just
meet career demands.
The problems that often arise as a result
of working mothers are that the children's
desires are always obeyed, children are freer
to do activities, children can solve their
problems and tend to have higher ideals
(Kantjono, 2001). Whereas children with
mothers who do not work are more likely to
be assisted at-home activities, the attitude of
parents is always protective, too worried,
children are more bound in all things,
activities of children outside the home are less
so that children are less able to solve
problems that arise (Prabaningrum, 2013).
These conditions can have a direct or indirect
impact on children's self-reliance, such as
limited children's activities, children are often
afraid of making choices.
Efforts that can be used in the
development of children's self-reliance are the
active role of parents in creating a home
environment as the first social environment
experienced by children so that children are
gradually able to free themselves from
dependence and absolute protection from their
parents (Istiqomah, 2004). Parents can
develop balanced affection by allowing
children to show their affection.
Preschool period according to Rustini
(2012) is a time to play and start entering
kindergarten. Playtime is a means to grow in
the environment and its readiness informal
learning with a preschooler age limit that is
between the ages of 1 to 6 years. At the stage
of development of preschoolers, children
begin to master a variety of physical skills,
language, and begin to have the confidence to
explore their self-reliance. The development
team of the Elementary Education Course

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Overcoming Spoiled Children
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Vol. 16 No. 2, Oktober 2019

(MKDK) believes that in preschool there will
be a very strong urge to demand selfrecognition. Their will must always be obeyed
and their emotions are often overflowing
accompanied by aggressive behaviour that is
very strong, especially if their desires are not
obeyed. At this condition, the children will
consciously want to escape from the influence
of their mother and want to stand alone,
because it is driven by a positive and strong
passion for life. The development of
preschool children is related to the level of
self-reliance. Self-reliance is the main
characteristic of preschoolers. Besides,
mastering motoric skills, cognitive skills and
language
make
them
confident
in
experiencing the process of growth and
development so that children become
independent (Sudarna, 2014).

Theoretical Review
Fathurrohman et.al (2013) states that
Spoiled child is a child who always expects
excessive attention from the environment
around him, also followed by a desire to and
obeyed all his wishes. Not a few parents who
have done this without realizing it, for
example, parents who are always busy
sometimes do compensation by spoiling
children. Eventually, attitudes toward children
become excessive. Children must be in an
easy and pleasant atmosphere of life. Then all
the
attention
and
assistance
is
mobilized. Consequently,
the
children
develop a personality to more easily " to
accept" than "to give".
At school, the teacher is more directing,
educating and motivating so that the children
can change gradually and can optimally carry

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out learning activities by not behaving or
being pampered. Spoiled nature of children is
can also affect the delay of children doing
learning activities in school. Furthermore, it
will inhibit all activities carried out (Pidarta,
2013).
Wibowo (2012), states that when children
need physical and spiritual needs, they will
continue to learn together. If the children
learn with a casual attitude, of course, it will
get results that are less than optimal or less
satisfying. Whereas the expected goal of
learning is to achieve the learning objectives
as optimal as possible. If schools and families
give everything that leads to the children to be
spoiled, then the children do not get and
achieve goals optimally and the children do
not have the independence to do something
for the future progress (Marliany, 2014).
Sudaryanti (2012) states that spoiling a
child means increasing his belief that he can
always get what he wants, perhaps with anger
or flattery or even by pitting one another. The
characteristics of spoiled children include:
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.

f.
g.
h.

Cry
and
scream
when they want something.
Often angry and even hit when
parents/teachers punish them.
Be rude to adults and other children.
Refusing to share something or certain
behaviour with other children.
Likes to show off, and always wants to be
the centre of attention among the
group.
Always want what others have if you
have succeeded in having it.
Always want something new.
Demanding others to help him do
something when he can do it himself.

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Overcoming Spoiled Children
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In general, the main factor that causes the
spoiled nature of children is family
environmental factors, namely in the form of
parenting mistakes towards their children.
Latif et.al (2013) said that only children,
eldest, youngest, often abandoned by parents,
and competition among children is the cause
of children become spoiled in the family
environment. The explanation is as follows:
1. An only child is often watched
excessively. This attitude usually occurs
because parents are afraid of their child
injured or missing. Consequently, the
child will feel not free. Feeling not free
will be realized by demanding his parents
to obey his will.
2. The eldest is usually treated the same as
an only child at first. In this case, parents
usually try their best to fulfil all desires
and bestow all the attention and affection
for him. But after his sibling was born,
the attention of the parents naturally
shifted and was divided. At this time, the
eldest feels jealous and tries to seize the
love of his parents who began to wane by
reacting in strange ways, such as crying,
screaming and pretending to be
sick. Because their parents feel guilty,
eventually the eldest will be spoiled by
parents.
3. The youngest child can be a spoiled child.
This is because the youngest is still
considered a child by his siblings. The
pleasure of the youngest child is not only
sourced from his parents but also his
siblings.
4. Children who always suffer from diseases
can also be spoiled children. Children
who are always infected with diseases
usually get special attention from their

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parents and siblings. This excessive
attention can spoil a child.
5. A boy who lives among sisters also
usually receive special attention from
their parents. This condition can drive the
boy to be a spoiled child.
6. Children who are often left behind by
parents who are too busy also have the
potential to become spoiled children.
Usually, such parents will compensate for
their lack of attention by spoiling their
children and allowing whatever the
children do and the children will do
everything as they wish.
METHODS
Literature study or known as a literature
review is a description of the theory,
findings, and other research materials that
are used as a basis for research activities in
preparing the framework of the problem
formulation. Another source said that the
notion of literature review includes analysis
in the form of both constructive and
dropping criticism from research being
carried out on specific topics. The contents
of the review literature include summaries,
reviews, and the writer's thoughts derived
from library sources such as slides, articles,
information from the internet. Good review
literature is relevant and the most up to date.
This is useful to support the topics discussed
in the research. It also helps in limiting the
problem (Sugiyono, 2015).
The understanding of literature
according to experts is reading material that
can be used in various activities, both
intellectually and recreation (ALA Glossary
of Library and Information Science (1983)).

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Overcoming Spoiled Children
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Al-Hikmah: Jurnal Agama dan Ilmu Pengetahuan
Vol. 16 No. 2, Oktober 2019

In general, literature comes from books or
scientific journals, so it is authentic to be
used as a source of reference. Literature is a
basic material that can be used as a
reference
in
writing
scientific
papers. Literature is not merely in the form
of writing, it can also be in the form of nonbooks such as recordings, vinyl record, laser
disks, films, tapes, etc that can provide
information.
The literature review itself can be
classified into primary literature and
secondary
literature,
and
tertiary
literature. The sharpness of the analysis of
each
literature
is
different. Primary
literature is the original written work which
contains a theory or an idea in various
fields, such as research reports, patents,
dissertations,
seminar
papers
and
others. Meanwhile, secondary literature is
literature that summarizes, or indexes
primary literature, so it does not contain
new literature. Tertiary literature contains
instructions for obtaining secondary
literature, such as directory bibliography
(Sugiyono, 2015).
In this literature review, the author uses
primary and secondary sources on the topic
of spoiled nature and behaviour in early
childhood. The author seeks to provide an
understanding of the importance of this
spoiled behaviour which can negatively
affect early childhood development.
Besides, the author is also trying to
provide opinions and suggestions for
teachers and parents in educating spoiled
children to become an independent person
both at school and at home.

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RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Spoiled is not included in the pathology
(disease is also a psychological disorder)
but it would be bad if the excess is
excessive, more so if it is supported by
family or relatives. This will certainly cause
the children to become dependent. Besides,
it also allows the children to use their
spoiled nature to get what they want. If a
child is left by his parents, the child will
become spoiled continuously (Chairilsyah,
2016). Indirectly, the selfish attitude and
lack of sensitivity to the environment will
be formed. In daily life association, the
impact will be felt. Everyone must obey the
wishes of the child or the child will sulk to
get what the child wants. The concept of the
child is also not good because the child
becomes a person who is not trying and lack
of motivation. This possibly happens if the
child feels easy to get something or what the
child wants (Suwartini, 2018).
In the initial stages of entering
preschool or kindergarten, children are
trained not to be spoiled. This can be seen
when the learning process, children are no
longer attended by the class by their parents.
In the next stage, the children can
understand and want to be independent in
carrying out learning activities in school
without having to be assisted by the teacher
(Silahudin, 2017). Thus, the children are no
longer dependent on the teacher or other
people. In the needs of children, both
physical needs and spiritual needs in
children's learning need to be instilled and
directed various efforts and ways so that
there is no longer spoiled nature children

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(Rakhman, 2015). Here are some tips for
teachers to deal with spoiled children:
1. Class regulation.
Make a kind of simple class
regulation. One of them, "May not be
accompanied by Mama or Papa in the
class". Tell them at every meeting so that
the children are motivated to be an
independent child.
2. Parents do not run away.
We should avoid things that can make
children feel uncomfortable, and anxious
while in class. One of them is by asking
parents to go out secretly without the
children’s knowledge.
3. Observing the developments.
If we see a student who still wants to be
accompanied by his parents, we as a
teacher should not worry. Do not let the
first day of school, children become a bad
day for students. Let them play and learn
to be accompanied by their parents, while
you continue to get acquainted, and foster
good relations with the child. This is very
important so that students feel
comfortable in class, and we can become
friends with students. A good impression
at the beginning of the meeting will
facilitate the next step.
4. Motivate each lesson.
Motivating students in every work is very
important. This is closely related to the
comfort of students in the classroom.
Motivations can be given by compliments
in every work completed by students,
displaying work on the wall or school
board, giving gifts when the child
students complete their tasks, and much
more.

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5.

Give praise.
Give "more" praise to students who are
willing to learn in class independently.
This can also be done to motivate
children who are still accompanied by
their parents so that they are infected to
want to learn independently.
6. Communicate with parents.
Keep in communication with parents to
develop good strategies so that the
children can learn independently. Ask
parents about things that children like and
don't like. For example, if the children do
not like to dance, the teacher does not
force the children to dance.
7. Invite children to play outside the
classroom.
Several children need several stages to
make them comfortable in the school
environment. To make students have
beautiful thoughts about learning in
school, invite them to play outside the
classroom, playroom for example.
8. "Punish" parents.
"Punish" in this case, of course only in a
literal sense. This we can do as an act of
"challenging" for children. In this case,
do not do it in a hard way, but it must be
done in a gentle way accompanied by a
humour.
9. Sing a song to motivate independent
living.
Sing a song at each meeting. This is done
so that in the hearts of students embedded
the spirit to live independently. Sing
songs with the theme of “independent
children”
10. Take a temporary child off.
If there is no other way, leave the child
for a few days. Let parents persuade
children to want to go back to school. The

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Overcoming Spoiled Children
with Natural Approachment

Al-Hikmah: Jurnal Agama dan Ilmu Pengetahuan
Vol. 16 No. 2, Oktober 2019

child's emotions may not be good so it is
difficult to accept the atmosphere and
new things. Every child will find it easier
to accept new things when he has a good
heart condition.
Tips for parents to deal with spoiled
children include:
1. Be consistent with what is said.
One of the things that often cause spoiled
arises is parents are not consistent with
what has been said to the child. When
children ask for something they want and
then parents say they can't fulfil it, then
the child is more likely to whine or cry
because they don't get what they want.
Parents who see and hear the child cry
start to be compassionate so that they
give what they want. From this, children
learn that they will get what they want if
they whine or cry. Therefore, the child
may whine louder if further requests are
not complied with. If a parent does say
"no" at the beginning, then keep the word
no until the end, even if you have to see
the child whining and crying. This is one
test for parents whether they can be
consistent with what has been said. If the
child cries, then let it go or talk nicely to
the child the reason why we cannot fulfil
his request.
2. Provide explanations that are easy for
children to understand.
When children ask for something and
parents can't or don't want to fulfil it, then
give them an explanation of why they
can't get it. Children have the right to be
angry, sad, and disappointed if their
wishes cannot be fulfilled. But by giving
a clear explanation to the child, it will
help the child understand about the

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3.

4.

5.

6.

situation occurs. Then, he will be easier to
overcome his sadness and can understand
when he has to ask for it again.
Give praise.
When children do good things, give them
praise even though the things they do are
small. By continuing to praise it, the
children will be motivated to do other
kindness. Besides, parents can also give
kisses and hugs when they are doing
good. They are not only motivated to do
other good deeds, but also feel their
parents' love for them.
Involve children in various social
activities .
By involving children in social activities,
children will learn to share, communicate,
and control their egos. Besides, parents
can tell and explain various life lessons
and moral values that are in the social
group with language that is easy to
understand. For example, parents can
explain the meaning of being grateful,
and so on.
Provide punishment.
Providing punishment is not always bad
for children. Giving proper punishment to
children will make children learn not to
repeat bad things. For example, parents
can confiscate their favourite items or
toys when the child is not tidying up his
room or bed.
Demonstrate and explain good and bad
behaviour in children.
Telling good behaviour that children
should do may already be a normal
parent, but explaining every look at bad
habits or bad behaviour that occurs
around the children is another thing. For
example, when parents go somewhere
and see another child whining or

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Overcoming Spoiled Children
with Natural Approachment

Al-Hikmah: Jurnal Agama dan Ilmu Pengetahuan
Vol. 16 No. 2, Oktober 2019

throwing a tantrum for something, tell the
children that this is a bad thing and
explain the consequences that will occur
if they do it.
7. Explain to the children that the
contribution of each family member is
needed to maintain the household.
Have the children to become volunteers
or assign them to do work around the
house such as make their beds, store their
toys, and dress themselves. Remember,
when children have something, it helps to
meet their needs to have.
8. Give children an example of the
behaviour expected of them.
If parents want their children to make
their beds, parents also need to make their
beds. If parents want children to clean
themselves, then parents must do the
same. If a parent wants children not to
smoke, use drugs or alcohol, they should
never see parents involved in these
practices.
CONCLUSION
Dealing with the spoiled nature children,
parents should know the causes of it. Several
factors cause children to be spoiled such as
the family, community and school. A good
and planned strategy can be done by a teacher
and parent. Parents and teachers can do
various activities so that children are
stimulated to do their activities. Teachers can
also approach them directly and work closely
with
parents
in
creating
children's
independence programs. Children who can
compete are children taught from an early age
by parents and teachers have the opportunity
to struggle in getting what they want in a
positive way.

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with Natural Approachment

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