STRATEGY IN APPLYING LOVE LANGUAGE TO ENHANCE THE
QUALITY OF RELATIONSHIP IN CAREER FAMILY
Yaumul Sabrina Fajriantini1.
Ani Wafiroh2.
Ahmad Fiqqih Alfathoni3 123Universitas Islam Negeri Mataram Email: yaumulsabrina02@gmail.
Abstract Love language is a trendy term these days.
However, the application of love language is largely ignored by society, especially career families.
For this reason, this study aims to describe how career families apply love language strategies in improving the quality of their relationships and how it impacts their family harmony.
A qualitative research method was used to collected a phenomenological approach.
Data collection techniques were used through indepth interviews and observations of career families.
The results of this study are career families who apply the concept of love language in their families will make it easier for them to improve the quality of family relationships where there are many demands by career families both at work and very little time with family.
Therefore, love language is very necessary in career families.
addition, there are impacts if career families do not apply love language in their families, so that small conflicts arise in the household, such as infidelity, differences of opinion, and damage to the relationship between children and Keywords : Love Language.
Relationship.
Career Family Abstrak Love language adalah istilah yang lagi trend di zaman sekarang.
Namun, penerapan love language banyak diabaikan oleh masyarakat, terlebih keluarga Untuk itu penelitian ini bertujuan untuk mendeskripsikan bagaimana keluarga karir menerapkan strategi love language dalam meningkatkan kualitas hubungan mereka dan bagaimana dampaknya terhadap keharmonisan Penelitian ini disusun menggunakan metode penelitian kualitatif dengan pendekatan fenomenologi.
Tekhnik pengumpulan data digunakan melalui observasi dan wawancara mendalam terhadap keluarga karir.
Hasil dari penelitian ini adalah keluarga karir yang menerapkan konsep love language dalam keluarganya memudahkan mereka dalam meningkatkan kualitas hubungan keluarga yang dimana banyak tuntutan dari keluarga karir dalam pekerjaan maupun waktu yang sangat sedikit dengan keluarga.
Oleh karena itu love language sangat diperlukan dalam keluarga karir.
Selain itu, dampak yang ditimbulkan ketika keluarga karir tidak menerapkan love language dalam keluarganya, dapat menimbulkan konflik-konflik kecil dalam rumah tangga, seperti perselingkuhan, perbedaan pendapat, dan rusaknya hubungan antar anak dengan orang tua.
Kata Kunci: Love Language.
Hubungan Keluarga, dan Keluarga Karir
INTRODUCTION
Human beings, as social creatures, possess an inherent desire to establish a family a union between a man and a woman bound by marriage and living together within a shared household.
Human existence necessitates interaction with others in their social environment.
social beings, individuals require communication with others to fulfill various aspects of life.
Through such interactions, people are able to build closer relationships with those around them, including friends, partners, and, most importantly, family A family is a group of people bound by marriage, consisting of a head of household and several people who live together in one place under one roof in a state of mutual dependence.
A family will be harmonious if there is peace, love, and plenty of time spent at home together with the family.
However, there are also families who rarely have time at home with their families due to work and education factors.
Leaving home because of busy work schedules can trigger domestic conflicts, which usually have a major impact on the quality of the Building a family that understands each other is very difficult if one of them rarely communicates and is unable to express their feelings, even though giving more attention and showing care for each other is very natural and important in order to build a family that is sakinah, mawaddah, wa rahmah.
However, a harmonious family does not mean a family whose journey is smooth sailing without conflicts or problems in the household, but rather how someone 1 Marhisar Simatupang.
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3 Nuroniyah Wardah.
PSIKOLOGI KELUARGA.
Psikologi Keluarga, 2023.
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can resolve conflicts or problems in a household.
6 Therefore, family relationships must be based on love and affection for one another, so that every family member feels loved and cherished.
The key to building a positive romantic relationship is a sense of comfort, good communication skills, and the need for love or affection.
Without good communication and feelings of love, the relationship is likely to be problematic and not function well.
Love and affection are two words that are almost the same but have different meanings.
7 Love is not about who other people are or how they treat their fellow human beings or what they do to make their fellow human beings respect each other.
8 Whereas compassion is the purest expression of love, which brings peace not only to oneself but also to others.
9 It can be concluded that love and affection are the main keys to a harmonious Love language is the way a person expresses their feelings of love and affection towards someone else.
10 Applying this love language is not always intended for partners.
it can also be used within the household, such as between parents and children, older siblings and younger siblings, or to show attention and care for family and friends.
The five love languages are a tool recommended by Gary Chapman for every couple, consisting of five love languages that everyone possesses, all of which are assumed to be tools or ways to communicate with one another.
11 There are five factors that make a person feel 6 Rizki Rohmatullah and Imam SyafiAoi.
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loved: .
receiving words of affirmation, .
spending quality time with one's partner, .
acts of service, .
receiving gifts, and .
physical touch.
By expressing love through the concept of love languages, you can build emotional bonds, motivation, and resilience within the family.
13 Family resilience certainly cannot function if one member does not receive emotional fulfilment, such as a wife who receives insufficient attention from her husband because he is busy with work, and children who feel they lack affection and time with their parents, who must work morning, noon and night every day.
Especially in career families in Gunungsari Village.
A career family is a family where both husband and wife are busy outside the home or work with various motivations.
With their busy work schedules, time for family, especially for children, will be reduced.
15 Moreover, with the busyness of work, time for family, especially for children, will be reduced.
In addition, previous research by Lidia Tiatra Awing and Annisa Wahyuni Arsyad found that the dominant love languages possessed by each couple in the Samarinda choir were physical touch and quality time.
Furthermore, this study also found that the concept of love languages can maintain harmony in the household and create romantic family relationships.
The difference between this study and the previous one lies in the subject of the research, where Lidia Tiatra Awing and Annisa Wahyuni Arsyad studied couples, while this study examined career families in applying the concept of love languages.
Based on initial observations made by researchers in Gunungsari Village, 7629Ae35, https://journal.
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12 Edwin Adrianta Surijah.
Ni Kadek Prema Dewi Sabhariyanti, and Supriyadi Supriyadi.
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14 Suci Febrian Utami.
Erningsih, and Yenita Yatim.
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Kabupaten Tanah Data.
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uin-malang.
id/id/eprint/7054.
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it appears that the community in Gunungsari already practises several forms of love language, but they apply this concept in their daily lives without realising it.
For example, one career-oriented family had a conflict related to the husband's lack of understanding of his wife's love language, which was physical touch.
This meant that the wife liked to suddenly hug her husband after a day's work, but the husband felt uncomfortable and did not respond to his wife because he was tired from work.
Such small things must be understood between couples, as they can lead to serious conflicts due to feelings of being ignored by one's partner, ultimately causing arguments between husband and wife.
The results of the observation showed that the harmony created when couples use love language more often will build good communication and make this love language a tool to strengthen family bonds, thereby creating a happy family full of love and free from domestic conflict.
The method used in this study was a qualitative method with a phenomenological approach that focused on describing the experiences of the research subjects.
After reviewing all the data obtained, the study highlighted the career families who experienced the phenomenon of love language amidst their busy lives as career families.
In this study, the types of data used were based on in-depth interviews and observations.
The in-depth interviews in this study were conducted with specific informants who were couples in romantic relationships within career families who were applying the concept of love The interview guidelines were unstructured, not limited to a list of prepared questions, but developed according to the course of the interview because this study was descriptive and qualitative in nature.
FINDING AND DISCUSSION
An ideal, high-quality family is one that is complete and understands each member's role, such as a husband and wife who also act as parents to their Bekti Istiyanto.
AuPentingnya Komunikasi Keluarga: Menelaah Posisi Ibu Antara Menjadi Wanita Karir Atau Penciptaan Keluarga Berkualitas,Ay KOMUNIKA: Jurnal Dakwah Dan Komunikasi 1, no.
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Relationships between family members are formed through appropriate communication within the family, and each family may employ different communication patterns depending on their needs and circumstances.
Therefore, we must gain a deeper understanding of each person's love language, especially within our own families.
Love language is a form of expression that a person uses towards their partner, friends, and even family, based on love and affection, with the aim of building a peaceful and harmonious relationship .
There are five types of love languages that we can apply in the family, as Words of affirmation, or saying kind words and encouraging phrases to loved ones, is the first love language, which means interacting in various ways throughout the day by sharing stories.
18 For example, when a married couple who are tired after working all day tell each other about the things that happened during their workday.
Quality time, spending time with family is about bonding, care for one another, sharing something meaningful, listening and communicating.
For example, when children whose parents work are given special time to be with their family on holidays.
Acts of service, wherein this love language refers to someone who prefers small acts of service from their partner, because they believe that such acts require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy.
20 An example would be a mother who prepares lunch boxes for her children 17 Naila Isfi Amalia.
AuPenggunaan Bahasa Cinta ( Love Language ) Dalam Keluarga Sivitas Akademika Fakultas Agama Islam Prodi Hukum Keluarga ( Ahwal Syakhshiyah ) Universitas Islam Sultan Agung Semarang ( Studi Perspektif Maslahah Mursalah ),Ay 2024.
18 Bela Pristica.
Diah Virgin, and Fitzerald Kennedy Sitorus.
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19 Kurniawaty Yusuf.
Iqlima Iqlima, and Britney Atalya Eureeka Hersjee.
AuLove Languages Dalam Hubungan Persahabatan Remaja,Ay Konvergensi : Jurnal Ilmiah Ilmu Komunikasi 3, no.
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20 Nurmala Sari.
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Phys.
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who go to school.
Receiving gifts: a person may feel most loved and appreciated when receiving gifts from someone they care about, whether in the form of physical items or tokens of affection such as gifts on birthdays and other special occasions.
Physical touch: This love language emphasises the importance of physical touch as a way to feel loved and appreciated when receiving affectionate physical contact, such as hugging, holding hands and other forms of The Application of Love Language to Increase Quality in Family Relationships and Careers in Gunungsari Village The willingness to be loved and the ability to love one's partner are the foundations of a romantic relationship.
23 However, there are many problems in family relationships, including lack of time spent with family, infrequent communication, and lack of concern for family.
This situation is certainly experienced by many, especially career-oriented families.
24 Of which, various efforts have been made to maintain harmony in their family relationships.
The strategy implemented by all families in Gunungsari Village to improve the quality of family relationships is to apply the five love language The first is words of affirmation, which involves expressing gratitude, saying kind words, and giving small tokens of appreciation through social media or in person.
second, quality time by making holiday plans with the family and 21 Putri Nainggolan and QoniAoah Nur Wijayani.
AuPengungkapan Love Languange Dalam Hubungan Romantis,Ay Khatulistiwa: Jurnal Pendidikan Dan Sosial Humaniora 4, no.
186Ae94, https://doi.
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22 Sakinah Pokhrel.
AuPENERAPAN LOVE LANGUAGE TERHADAP KEHARMONISAN HUBUNGAN RUMAH TANGGA PADA PASANGAN SUAMI ISTRI ( Studi Pada Masyarakat Desa Sawa Kecamatan Lilialy Kabupaten Buru ),Ay c 15, no.
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23 Ramadhani Zahra and Wiwid Noor Rakhmad.
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24 Nadrah Sitorus.
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spending the whole day together, such as playing games or watching films.
third, receiving gifts by buying gifts for family members and making gifts yourself to please other family members.
fourth, acts of service by helping with each other's tasks, such as housework, to lighten the load on family members.
and fifth, physical touch by giving kisses or hugs to family members.
Building quality and harmonious family relationships in a careeroriented family is not as easy as in ordinary families who have more time at Family relationships will be easier if they are based on communication.
As in the case of the career-oriented family in Gunungsari Village, the wife tried to pamper her husband with her touch after working from morning to evening, but the husband responds with indifference and feels uncomfortable with his wife's actions.
From this incident, we can conclude that every couple wants to give their best, but not all are reciprocated in the same way.
The Aolove languageAo or Aolanguage of loveAo does not work if one partner does not understand how to respond to the love language expressed by their spouse.
25 Oleh karena itu, seseorang akan merasa malas menerapkannya karena takut tidak mendapatkan balasan yang mereka inginkan.
Based on the interview results, all families have implemented these five love language concepts in their families.
The majority of families prefer the following types of love language:
Words of affirmation.
In the first family, the wife revealed that she likes to receive words of praise from her husband because they don't have much time together as they are both busy with work.
The wife prefers to talk about how her day at work went.
Therefore, the husband understands his wife's desire to spend time chatting with her every night after work and Quality time, the second family where both parents chose to work, which meant they had less time to spend with their family, especially their children, the husband and head of the family made an agreement to set 25 Ravik Karsidi.
AuPola Hubungan Dalam Keluarga,Ay no.
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aside special time on holidays to spend exclusively with the family, such as going to the beach, eating out, and touring the city together.
Acts Of Service, the third The wife said that her husband pays close attention to small details in the household, such as suddenly tidying up the furniture and children's toys scattered around the house in the morning, which happened to be the case in this family where the wife is busier and has a heavier workload.
The last family, showed practiced all of the love languages, where both husband and wife worked and some of the children had moved away.
however, because they practiced all five love languages, such as always having dinner together every day because that was the only time they could gather, the wife still prepared meals for her husband and children who were still in school, always remembered special days and celebrated them, such as their wedding anniversary and each child's birthday, and finally, the parents and children were open with each other and created good communication.
As for the child who is away, the parents and siblings still make time to have video calls during their free time.
Based on interviews conducted with several families in Gunungsari Village, the love languages that are widely practiced and preferred are quality time and words of affirmation, because for them, gathering with family can create close relationships, especially when accompanied by storytelling, discussion, and doing positive things with family that can form harmonious However, there are also wives who do not receive love language from their husbands because their husbands do not understand how their wives want to be loved, so their relationship is not as romantic as couples who understand and apply love language with their partners.
Some career-oriented families previously prioritized work and devoted all their time to it without considering how their children felt, as they rarely spent time with both parents.
However, after parents tried to apply the concept of love language to their children, their relationship grew closer and they FAMILIA: JURNAL HUKUM KELUARGA VOL.
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became more sensitive to each other's feelings.
The implementation of the love language concept will increase trust among family members, build strong emotional bonds, improve quality by creating good communication, and provide a sense of comfort and security to spouses and children.
The Impact of Love Language on the Quality of Family and Career Relationships in Gunungsari Creating a high-quality and harmonious family is not easy if one of the partners or family members does not express their feelings and is not open with each other.
Good communication is the main way to improve harmonious family relationships, with communication between partners, between siblings, and even between parents and children.
The function of family communication is to achieve happiness, reach common goals, and create reciprocal relationships.
On the other hand, parents' busy work schedules often result in a lack of time spent with their children, causing the children to feel neglected and unloved by their parents.
It is not only children who feel this lack of time.
husbands and wives also feel it because they both work and spend less time with their spouses.
In fact, a person who lacks attention and affection will have a negative impact on their life.
Based on the interview results, families that do not apply the concept of love language in their families are more prone to negative impacts on family continuity compared to families that apply love language in their family The difficulties in expressing feelings in family relationships experienced by each informant are as follows:
Miscommunication The differences in their activities make it difficult for them to manage their time and maintain close relationships with their own families.
Although they communicate with each other every day, the quality of their family Mia Nur Islamiah.
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32332/jbpi.
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relationships is not as good as families who spend more time at home.
27 Every family recognized that their communication and time spent with family was poor and affected the quality of their family relationships, resulting in minor conflicts within the family.
This issue has an impact not only on the relationship between husband and wife, but often also on the children.
Due to this miscommunication, some couples misinterpret each other's attitudes, resulting in mutual suspicion that ends in arguments.
More couples remain silent.
However, they have tried to overcome the above problems by becoming more open with each other.
They have dared to communicate with each other about their respective problems so that they can work together to find Due to miscommunication, families choose to apply the language of love, words of affirmation, where people talk about and resolve problems with kind words.
Marital relationship Every marital relationship is based on love and affection, with satisfaction derived from physical contact with one's partner.
Husbands whose love language is physical touch will easily become sensitive if their wives do not hug and kiss them, because for someone with this love language, physical touch fosters a deep sense of love.
28 However, if their partner does not reciprocate, then a person will think that they are not loved and not considered special by their partner.
If their partner is indifferent or feels uncomfortable when touched and does not respond well, it will diminish the love that their partner feels because they are not getting satisfaction from their partner.
Mental health Issue Children who lack affection and time from their parents are prone to 27 Muhammad Muhammad.
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,Ay Jurnal MUDARRISUNA: Media Kajian Pendidikan Agama Islam 12, no.
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28 Riska Dwi NoviantiMariam SondakhMeiske Rembang.
AuKOMUNIKASI ANTARPRIBADI
DALAMMENCIPTAKANHARMONISASI(SUAMI DAN ISTRI) KELUARGA DIDESA SAGEA
KABUPATEN HALMAHERA TENGAHAy VI, no.
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stress, lack of confidence, and anxiety if their parents do not play a role in their Children who do not have a close relationship with their parents will keep their problems to themselves, choosing to shut themselves in their rooms, often leaving the house and acting aimlessly.
Because of this, many girls crave affection from the opposite sex in romantic relationships, which often has a negative impact on them.
CONCLUSION
According to the research results, the strategy implemented by families in Gunungsari Village to improve the quality of family relationships is to apply the five love language concepts.
The first is words of affirmation, which involves expressing gratitude, saying kind words, and giving small tokens of appreciation through social media or in person.
second, quality time by making vacation plans with the family and spending the whole day together, such as playing games or watching movies.
third, receiving gifts by buying gifts for family members and making gifts yourself to please other family members.
fourth, acts of service by helping with each other's tasks, such as housework, to ease the burden on family members.
and fifth, physical touch by giving kisses or hugs to family members.
Career families in Gunungsari Village prefer the love language of quality time, because for them, gathering with family can create close relationships, such as talking more often and doing positive things with family that can create a harmonious family.
Some of the impacts found when families do not practice love languages in their families are as follows: a.
Miscommunication, caused by a lack of openness and infrequent communication with family members, leading to conflict among family members.
Marital relations, lack of satisfaction in intimate relations with one's partner if one of them does not respond to the other's love language with touch, such as hugging, kissing, and other physical Mental health issue.
Lack of love language can easily cause stress.
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anxiety, and low self-esteem in the family.
All spouses or parents and children may not necessarily share the same love language, but it is important to understand each other's love language in order to provide mutual love and affection.
This is because applying the five love languages within the family will make it easier to create a quality relationship filled with love and peace within the family.
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